Psychology of Fear

Are you afraid? Are you ruining your today by worrying about tomorrow? Man is tormented by endless types of fears. What if I get high blood pressure? What if I get caught by customs? What will happen when I become old? What will happen to my children?

Man is constantly burdened by the weight of such fears. If you want to experience happiness in life, then you will have to become fearless. Man is unhappy from worrying about tomorrow than he is from the unhappiness of today.

Fear and reality are two different things. Fear is an imagination of the mind or an illness of a weak mind, whereas reality is the truth of life.

The Best Ways to Say I Love You

By Diven Laxman

Have you ever felt at a loss for words or ways to describe your feelings for your partner? At some point in any relationship the need for a sentimental or unique way to say I love you comes up. With this in mind we asked Lovingyou.com members what their favorite way to say I love you was. Below is a few of our favorite ideas! I'd also like to send a special thank you to every one who submitted their response! :)
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Place notes in your lover's lunch telling him how much you love him.

Page you sweetheart with an I Love You page.

Give her a soft kiss.

Make everyday things special.

Give your love a little note or sending him an e-mail with a poem in it.

Listen to her every word.

Making a list of everything you love about them. No matter how stupid.

Spend quality time with the one you love.

Have flowers delivered with a note attached saying simply, "I love you."

Give unexpected hugs and kisses in unexpected places.

Cook them their favorite meal.

Hold each other when you fall asleep.

Just be together.

Give your love a long hard kiss on the lips, followed by a gift.

Sending romantic postcards on a daily basis.

Get off work early and surprise your sweetheart with a dozen roses and dinner, just because.

Spend all week thinking of something special for the weekend and then... do it!

Give him a loving smile from across the room.

Draw or obtain a new romantic picture of two lovers in each others grasp and give it to your love as a reminder of your passion.

If you live quite a distance from your love, surprise them with a visit.

When she is asleep in the morning, cover her with rose petals and wake her up to an I love you breakfast in bed.

Secretly write S-H-M-I-L-Y anywhere your lover will find it. SHMILY= See How Much I Love You.

Rub your nose on your sweetheart's nose!

Grab him by the waist, pulling him towards you, then softly touching his lips with yours.

Have a romantic weekend.

For a week, smothering your spouse with all the small intimate things they like.
Do a simple act of kindness, such as a backrub when he feels sick, to brighten his day.

Make a big sign (like the ones you use for demonstrations) quoting "Did my heart love 'til now? Forswear it sight, for I never saw true beauty 'til this night."

Make a web page for your girlfriend to tell her how much you love her.

Write long, erotic letters where you describe how much you love them.
Just Say It...
Whisper I love you in his ear while dancing a romantic slow melody.

Sitting outside under that stars and say, "I have never felt so special before... I owe this to you. I love you."

Creep up on your lover and whisper I love you in their ear.

In the middle of your partner's conversation with someone else, lean over and whisper I love you in their ear.

Scream I love you (name here) on a rollercoaster ride.

When you know it will be your partner on the phone say I love you right when you answer it.

Look into her eyes, hold her hands and then silently whisper I love you.

When you are doing an everyday thing, just look at him, and lean over, give him a little peck and say I love you.
The best idea was summed up in following user's comment: The best way of saying I love you is showing it every moment, with every action, look, movement, kiss or words.

Always Look for Simple Solutions

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soapbox, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soapbox that was empty.

Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly! line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soapbox went through the assembly line empty.

Management asked its engineers to solve the problem.

Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead came out with another solution.

He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line.
He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Very Actually

Chanakya Quotes

A man is great by deeds, not by birth.
A person should not be too honest. Just as straight trees. Are chopped-down first, honest people are taken advantage of first.

Variant: A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.

A rich man has many friends.

A woman is four times as shy, six times as brave and eight times as lusty as a man.

An egoist can be won over by being respected, a crazy person can be won over by allowing him to behave in an insane manner and a wise person can be won over by truth.

As centesimal droppings will fill a pot so also are knowledge, virtue and wealth gradually obtained.

As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.

Avoid him who talks sweetly before you but tries to ruin you behind your back, for he is like a pitcher of poison with milk on top.


Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions
— Why am I doing it? What the results might be? And Will I be successful?
Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.

Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere.
Education beats the beauty and the youth.

Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous.

God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple.

He who befriends a man whose conduct is vicious, whose vision impure, and who is notoriously crooked, is rapidly ruined.

If you get to learn something even from the worst of creatures, don't hesitate.

In a state where the ruler lives like a common man, the citizens live like kings do. And in the state where the ruler lives like a king, the citizens live like beggars do.

Jealousy is another name for failure.

Never go on a long journey alone.

Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status.
Such friendships will never give you any happiness.

Once you start working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.

One who is in search of knowledge should give up the search of pleasure and the one who is in search of pleasure should give up the search of knowledge.

The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody.
It will destroy you.

The four greatest enemies of a man are — the father who has taken a loan, the characterless mother, the beautiful but promiscuous wife and the stupid child.

The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind.
But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions.

The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.

There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.

Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.

Whores don't live in company of poor men, birds don't build nests on a tree that doesn't bear fruits and citizens never support a weak administration.

Wise men should never go into a country where there are no means of earning one's livelihood, where the people have no dread of anybody, have no sense of shame, no intelligence, or a charitable disposition.

Effective Business Letter Writing

A good Business Letter can open up new channels of Business. A well-written application letter may increase the chances of getting well-paid job. On the other hand, badly conducted correspondence can easily harm to any business. The ability to effectively communicate in writing is essential for professional success.

It is rightly said that a man's personality is often reflected in his letters. Think what a good impression made on others by decent correspondence can do to your own business. To be a capable correspondent, is a sign, the hall-mark of a good businessman.
Fortunately, so far as business is concerned, the ability to write a good letter, is a matter of accomplishment & training rather that a gift of nature. The art of writing effective business letter writing is definitely worth acquiring.

Self-discipline:

Self-discipline is the final step that takes all that we have learned and puts it into action. This is a trait that for most of us has to be developed. To reach our goals we must visualize them as already being accomplished and have faith that we can reach them. When you believe in and trust yourself and have enough desire, self-discipline comes easily.

Do What Needs to be Done:

Do what has to be done to get to where you want to go. Whether it is a mundane task or internal work, putting it off gets us nowhere. You are either going forward or falling behind; there is no such thing as standing still. Sometimes when we work on ourselves we stop when we get to a place that we need to change. Change can be difficult when we have to step out of our comfort zone. The more change is needed the more difficult it is.

Manage Your Time:

We all have the same amount of time to use in a day. Why do some people a lot done while others do very little? You have complete control of how much time you spend productively and how much you waste. Plan your days and prioritize your time to get the most out of the time you have. Use time-wasters like standing in line or waiting in a doctor's office to catch up on reading or something else that is important to you.

Take Action:

Goals are worthless without action. If you have written long-term and short-term goals and prioritized them, you have a plan of action. Just take it one step at a time and do something everyday that takes you closer to where you want to be. Remember however, to live in the present and be thankful for what you have now, enjoying the journey toward your goals. Read more information at : http://online-articles.org/coaching/site-map.php

Set Goals:

In order to get what you really want you must start by setting goals. Goals fuel your intent and make your desires concrete. Start by writing the goals for this year in area of personal relationships, work, health, finances and spirituality. List five goals in each category (add more categories if you like). Then break them down into monthly and then weekly goals. Focusing on what you intend in your life will bring it to reality. You create your life ? So start now by setting your goals.

Decide what motivates you:

If tomorrow you knew you could do anything and not fail what would you do? Is there something you are passionate about but are afraid of trying? If you have no idea what your passion is spend some time reflecting on it. To start, write down the types of activities you like to do and the types of activities (hobbies) that make you feel good when you do them. What are your special skills and talents ? Don't be shy ? Usually if it's something we like to do we are probably good at it. What inspires you?

Get in touch with your values:

When we feel like we are working hard but not getting anywhere it is probably because our priorities are not aligned with our values. To begin identifying your values ask yourself these questions:

What is important to me? Wisdom, freedom, happiness, equality, security, self-respect, romantic love, money, power, comfortable living, fresh air, beauty, controlling others, etc. Rate these values.

Who is important to me?

What or who is most important? Be honest with yourself.

What do I need to do to feel good about myself?

How would you feel if someone you respect knew this was one of your values?

Would you stick by this value?

Is it who you are?

How is this value affecting your life?

Make a list of your 10 top values. Of that 10 choose 4 and of the 4 choose your top two. From this exercise you will see where you need to focus your time and effort.

Put what where? 2,000 years of bizarre sex advice

Tight corsets cause nymphomania, orgasms can kill and wasps are a turn-on.
John Naish looks at the top sex advice over the ages

Mating. Reproduction. Nothing is more crucial to humanity's survival, so it would be logical to expect us to have got it sussed early in our evolution. But since the start of civilisation, the fundamentals of human sex -where to put it, how and when -have been absurdly confused by a parade of moralists, pundits and visionaries all claiming to know the magic secrets and only too happy to pass them on at a very reasonable price.

Just as every generation thinks that it invented sex, we also think we invented lovemaking manuals, or at least based them on a few prototypes such as the Kamasutra and Marie Stopes's 1918 Married Love. But today's maelstrom of books, videos and DVDs has a far richer, more twisted heritage than that.

The tradition of bestselling love guides goes back to the Ancient Chinese. Our earliest known manuals were first written in 300BC and buried in a family tomb at Mawangdui, in Hunan province. Recent translation reveals the timeless nature of the subjects they tackled.

Written as Cosmo coverlines, they would look like this: Four Seasons of Sex and Why Autumn is Hot, Hot, Hot; Wild New Positions; Tiger Roving, Gibbon Grabbing and Fish Gobbling; Aphrodisiacs to Keep You Up All Night! Plus Exclusive! Your Love Route to Immortality.

As ever, it was all nonsense: home-made Viagra recipes involved ingredients such as beetle larvae, wasps and dried snails. The books also promised that any man who had sex with a different virgin every night for 100 nights without ejaculating would live for ever (albeit rather uncomfortably).

These odd beginnings set a trend: weird tips from strange authors, many of whom became manual martyrs. Ovid, the Roman poet, advised women on the best positions to suit their bodies in his poem Ars Amatoria. For example: "If you are short, go on top/If you're conspicuously tall, kneel with your head turned slightly sideways." The prudish Emperor Augustus banished poor Ovid to a chilly outpost of empire (a small town on the Black Sea in modern Romania).

Medieval European sex advice followed the strait-laced trend: most of it said "don't". Pleasure paved Hell's roads and misogynistic manuals such as De Secretis Mulierum (The Secrets of Women) claimed that females used sex to drain men of their power and that some hid sharp shards of iron inside themselves to injure innocent lovers.

A technological breakthrough in the Renaissance put us back on our lascivious tracks. The printing press enabled publishers to churn out dodgy books faster than the Church authorities could ban them.

Readers were treated to gems such as Mrs Isabella Cortes's handy hint from 1561 that a mixture of quail testicles, large-winged ants, musk and amber was perfect for straightening bent penises. The era also brought us the earliest recorded recommendation of slippers as a sex aid ("Cold feet are a powerful hindrance to coition," warned Giovanni Sinibaldi in his 1658 book Rare Verities.) But to find history's oddest advisers, we must look to the Victorians and Edwardians. William Chidley, for example, believed that he could best promote his ideas by walking around in a toga. Chidley, an Australian, advised readers in his 1911 pamphlet The Answer that heavy clothing caused erections, which would lead to sexual overexcitement, illness and death, as well as being "ugly things" of which "we are all ashamed". He urged people to live on fruit and nuts and to practise a method of flaccid intercourse apparently based on horses' sex lives. Yet it wasn't his ideas that got him repeatedly arrested, but his silk toga, which the authorities thought indecent. After his death, supporters continued propounding his theories into the 1920s.

For the ultimate proof that you don't need relevant qualifications to become a world expert, we turn to Marie Stopes. She was married and in her late thirties when she wrote one of Britain's most enduring sex guides, Married Love. But she was also a virgin.

Stopes was inspired by her betrothal to Reginald "Ruggles" Gates, whom, she told a divorce court, had failed ever to become "effectively rigid". When Married Love hit the shelves early in 1918 it outsold the bestselling contemporary novels by a huge margin. By 1925, sales had passed the half-million mark.

Stopes was a fan of Hitler's eugenics and arrogant enough to offer Rudyard Kipling and George Bernard Shaw advice on writing. Her main sex-manual innovation was a theory that women have a "sex tide" of passion that ebbs and flows on a fortnightly basis -and woe betide the man who didn't understand this.

In case her second husband, the manufacturing magnate Humphrey Verdon Roe, got it wrong, she made him sign a contract releasing her to have sex with other men.

So that's our sexual forebears, a weird lot with funny ideas. Compared with them we might appear at the zenith of sexual enlightenment. Our age is remarkable for the sheer volume of sex advice being consumed: one woman in four now owns a sex manual, says a survey by the publishers Dorling Kindersley.

Everyone from porn stars to the car-manual firm Haynes has one out. Well, I wonder. In 50 years' time, I foresee the students at a university faculty of sexual semiotics studying the early Twenty-Ohs with the same mirth, incredulity and horror that shake us when we consider our ancestors' obsessions. Perhaps they will wonder why we bought so many manuals, videos and DVDs but seemed to have so little time or energy left for sex.

Maybe they will link our obsession with orgasms to our endless need to go shopping. They might also connect our avid consumption of sex advice to our growing terror of personal embarrassment and "getting it wrong". They may even have a name for us; perhaps the erotic neurotics.

Wisdom of the ancients

How to pull

"Pick the woman's worst feature and then make it appear desirable. Tell an older woman that she looks young. Tell an ugly woman that she looks 'fascinating'. " Philaenis, papyrus sex manual (2BC)

Go blondes!

"All women are lascivious but auburn blondes the most. A little straight forehead denotes an unbridled appetite in lust."

Giovanni Sinibaldi, Rare Verities: the Cabinet of Venus Unlock'd (1658)

Buns and corsets cause nymphomania

"Constricting the waist by corsets prevents the return of blood to the heart, overloads sexual organs and causes unnatural excitement of the sexual system. The majority of women follow the goddess fashion and so also wear their hair in a heavy knot. This great pressure on their small brains produces great heat and chronic inflammation of their sexual organs. It is almost impossible that such women should lead other than a life of sexual excess."

Dr John Cowan, The Science of a New Life (1888)

On the other hand ...

"The majority of women (happily for them) are not very much troubled with sexual feelings of any kind."

Dr William Acton, Functions and Disorders of the Reproductive Organs (1858)

Indian enlargement

"Rub your penis with the bristles of certain insects that live in trees, and then, after rubbing it for ten nights with oils, rub it with the bristles as before.

Swelling will be gradually produced. Then lie on a hammock with a hole in it and hang the penis through the hole. Take away the pain from the swelling by using cool concoctions. The swelling lasts for life."

Kamasutra, translated by Sir Richard Burton and F. F. "Bunny" Arbuthnot (1883)

Climaxes can kill

"Fainting, vomiting, involuntary urination, epilepsy and defecation have occurred in young men after first coitus. Lesions of various organs have taken place...

In elderly men the excitement of intercourse with young wives or prostitutes has caused death."

Havelock Ellis, Psychology of Sex: a Manual for Students (1933)

How often?

"The ordinary man can safely indulge about four times a month. More than that would be excess for a large majority of civilised men and women."

Lyman B. Sperry, Confidential Talks

with Husband and Wife: a Book of Information and Advice for the Married and Marriageable (1900)

And, if you can't find it, don't worry

"The clitoris, while important, is not nearly as important as many of us have been taught or led to believe."

Edward Podolsky, Sex Technique for Husband and Wife (1947)

But whatever you do ...

"Never fool around sexually with a vacuum cleaner."

Dr Alex Comfort, The Joy of Sex (1972)

Source: Times, The (United Kingdom)

Seminal Ideas

Biologically deterministic arguments have always been pressed into use by those who wish to explain human sexual behaviour while maintaining the status quo. Biological determinism is, in fact, the Daily Mail of scientific inquiry -- full of bogus notions about female fidelity versus male promiscuity (it's only fair, you see; he's got more sperm than she could ever use) and the evils of homosexuality (it's against nature, because we were put on earth to make babies). Clearly, the randier strand of Homo sapiens has never been put off by hoary old nonsense extrapolated from the behaviour of voles, but it remains the case that determinists have rarely been fought on their own terms.

Well, now the conservatives have had their day, and it's time for the libertines to start justifying themselves with reference to the bunny wabbits. Judson -- or Dr Tatiana, as she unfathomably prefers to be known -- is an unusually accessible biologist. Her two core interests are infidelity and homosexuality. We start with my favourite theory (I believe this is a favourite among all females): that most species have more to gain from slapper ladies than slapper gentlemen, owing to the superior quality of babies that are the result of a fierce competition in the Fallopian region. This, to be frank, has been common knowledge since Robin Baker's seminal Sperm Wars (forgive that) six years ago, but it's no less enjoyable for that.

To prove the thesis, Judson sifts deftly through about 17 more species than you've ever heard of. Her central conceit -- that the tiny beasties are all little people who have written letters to her -- I found rather cloying. The chapters all kick off "Dear Dr Tatiana, I'm a splendid fairy wren!" and, if you think that's bad, try it with some alliteration: "Dear Dr Tatiana, I'm a furious fruit fly!"

At the end of the book, she changes tack to deal with the asexual bdelloid rotifer, which is represented as a guest on The Jerry Springer Show. This is quite annoying as well (when will people understand that you can't parody bad TV unless you actually watch it?). There is some serious overwriting, which diminishes both the pace and vim of this enthusiastic biologist.

That said, Dr Tats has a very generous tone, and despatches old-fashioned notions with authoritative kindness -- Bateman, the originator of the men-naughty-women-good model, was simply using the wrong kind of fruit fly for his experiments (a bit like Kinsey and his wrong-sorts-of-prostitutes). Tatiana explains this very pleasantly, where a lesser lady-scientist might scoff. She is also unshakeable in her belief that the juxtaposition of a jaunty conversational tone and dirty words cannot fail to be amusing, and I'm with her on that. "After sex," she writes, in reference to the tropical cockroach, "females feast on anal secretions produced by their mates, eaten right off the plate, so to speak."

There is clarity here; she would never let a bit of homosexuality or incest go without explaining exactly how it survives natural selection, producing as it does no (or rubbish) offspring. The main quibble I'd have with the book lies in its thoroughness -- no species with any claim to sexual idiosyncrasy is left unexamined. In consequence, you find every conceivable permutation of male-and female-offspring behaviour here. Some are monogamous, some are promiscuous, some stun one another with hormones, some explode after birthing, some sex up their sisters, and so on, ad infinitum. The problem lies precisely with this variety -- if the layman is ever to be all that interested in the sexual vicissitudes of the scallop, it has to be because they relate to those of human beings in some way. And because this book supplies such endless possibilities, there is no final evolutionary truth from which you could extrapolate any behaviour. All you're left with is an awful lot of facts, and a couple of truisms -- one, all behaviour evolves for the furtherance of the species; two, that does not necessarily mean that homosexuality is weird, or that men have the upper hand.

This is an invaluable addition to any debate about sexual or reproductive ethics, one of those books that had to be written, but nobody should have to read.

By: Williams, Zoe, New Statesman

Brushing All Forty-Two Teeth

You're probably used to brushing a mouth containing 28 teeth, but how about a mouth containing 42 teeth? If you have a dog that you care about, you really should be brushing all 42 of its teeth too.

Because healthy dogs are living longer than ever before, it's important to make sure that their teeth last as long as they do. All dogs should have a dental checkup as part of their annual veterinary exam. In between exams, it's up to you and your family to make sure your dog's teeth stay healthy.

If you have a puppy, start by massaging his mouth with your finger. l et him get used to having something in his mouth that he doesn't chew or swallow. Next, wrap gauze around your finger and gently rub your l dog's teeth. When his adult teeth appear, start using a small toothbrush. There's even special beef- and chicken-flavored, doggy toothpaste to help make tooth-brushing a tasty treat!

If you have an older dog, it may take a little longer for him to accept a l tooth-brushing. If he absolutely will not allow you to put the toothbrush in his mouth, use a moist gauze strip dipped in baking soda to gently scrub around the gum line. The trick is to be more patient and persistent l hen your dog is! Veterinarians guarantee that your dog will be healthier as a result. Isn't that what being a responsible pet owner is all about?

By: Liesenfeld, Winnie, Geographical

Sex Advice

ANTHROPOMORPHISM — ascribing human thoughts and motivations to the actions of other species — used to be the dirtiest word in the animal behaviourist's dictionary. Not any more. Dr Tatiana brings us a catalogue of vices that would bring a blush to the cheeks of even the most depraved Homo sapiens.

There is nothing in the kaleidoscope of human sexual behaviour that other creatures great and small haven't tried out before, she says. Across the animal kingdom there is widespread homosexuality, rampant nymphomania, troilism, incest… and a male praying mantis's concept of the term “giving head” makes any other definition seem tame.

Dr Tatiana is a fictional agony aunt dispensing advice on sexual etiquette to the love sick and baffled. Only her “readers” are, for example, a nervous female golden potto (a simple bushbaby-like primate) disturbed by the enormous spines on her boyfriend's member; or a sensitive male Australian seaweed fly dismayed at the aggressive wooing demanded by prospective mates.

The idea is original, clever and will ensure that Judson's explanations of the evolution of sex and sexuality will reach a much wider audience than other more academic texts. But does it work? Up to a point.

Undoubtedly, the science is well researched, tightly argued, sometimes funny and often very enlightening. Judson points out some uncomfortable facts that may cause many to look at their own relationships in a different light. For example, even among those species like gibbons or many songbirds, that were once believed to mate for life, true monogamy is rare. So rare that it is one of the most deviant behaviours in biology, she asserts.

What scientific credentials does she have to make such a claim? They are certainly pretty impressive — Judson studied at Oxford University with the renowned evolutionary biologist Bill Hamilton and is now a research fellow at Imperial College, London.

But in between she worked on the science staff of The Economist and has adopted the supercilious prose style characteristic of that magazine.

That seems to be the main problem with this book — it is too smart for its own good. The trickery starts to annoy long before the final, ill-judged chapter. That is a fantasy about a daytime television show in the Jerry Springer mould with a live audience of creatures on various rungs of the evolutionary ladder. They all whoop derision at the only organism that completely eschews sex, the bdelloid rotifer (a microscopic creature that lives in damp moss). The chapter reviews the theories to explain the selective advantages of sexual reproduction and has some interesting points to make. But it's a huge relief when the credits roll — like sex, gimmicks can really tire you out.

By: Bonner, John, New Scientist

Chill Baby

Ultramarathon mountain biker, multiple Iditabike winner, manly hardguy John Stamstad ain't like you and me. There's this piece of advice for riding in the cold, for instance: "View cold as a challenge instead of a curse. As a competitive advantage. Look at it as, `Hey, it's 10 degrees below zero and nobody else is outside riding.'"

Sure, John. How about some advice regular people can use?

DRESS FOR SUCCESS: "Cold is relative. It's relative to how you dress and how you perceive it. The most cold I ever was in my life was when I got caught in a 40-degree rainstorm with the wrong garb. If you dress smart you can ride in just about anything. Because temperatures can change so much during one ride I try to come up with a system that works in most any winter temperature. like to be able to just quickly ventilate, or add or remove a layer and increase my comfort range by 20 degrees or so. That's the key."

BREATHING LESSONS: "Especially if it's super, super cold, breathability becomes key issue No. 1 for your clothing. The colder it is, the drier it is and you have that ratio--the difference between the air inside your clothing and the air outside, so you really need to get rid of moisture. If you don't, you get ice built up, and if your jacket gets coated on the inside with ice then it's not breathing at all, and you get more ice and more ice. The first year I did Iditabike, my jacket didn't breathe enough and I was basically riding in a jacket of ice. Finally I woke up and realized I had a problem and had to take it off, and I was actually warmer."

WHEN THE RAIN COMES: "Rain is hard to dress for. I'd rather ride in clear, 20-degree-below-zero weather than 35-degree rain. If I'm certain it's going to rain, I carry real rain gear that's waterproof and somewhat breathable. I've been wearing a North Face Activent jacket. It's the best rain-jacket I've ever used. It has a very fine balance between keeping water out and letting your body breathe, which is the whole key to being comfortable in cold weather."

LEGS: "The core to any winter ride I do is Polartec 200 tights. They have an amazing temperature range. The warmest I can ride in them is probably 50, and I would wear them down to something pretty darn cold, probably into the 20s. I've ridden with them beyond that, but I add a windproof layer. Something that's windproof retains heat even when there isn't wind (and anyway, even if there's no natural wind you make one when you pedal). My legs can be comfortable down to virtually any temperature. I've never had a problem with my legs getting cold, but I think it's the most critical part of your body to keep warm, because so much work is done there.

FEET: "In the rain, nothing's better than neoprene socks. They get wet but stay warm. But conversely, in cold, dry weather nothing is worse than neoprene socks. When it's a dry cold, I use a vapor barrier--I have special socks but a Subway sandwich bag works just as well. On your foot, you want to trap your body heat and body moisture, keep it close to your foot so your insulating layer doesn't get wet. I wear a thin, wicking sock, then a vapor barrier, then an insulating sock. I ride all winter long in the Lake MXZ 300--50 degrees down to severe cold. I can't stand shoe covers-they interfere with my pedaling--and you don't need them with the Lakes.

"The thing that's great for shoes if it is brutally cold is chemical heat packets. Those can be lifesavers, especially on road rides. Your feet aren't doing a whole lot of moving on a road bike, so you don't have much circulation."

TORSO: "Depending on the temperature I wear just a long-sleeve jersey--a plain old long-sleeve jersey--or the North Face Expedition-Weight Turtleneck. Over that goes a windproof shell and that's it. If it's around 30 degrees out, I'll wear a long-sleeve, thin cycling jersey with a shell jacket over the top and be totally comforable. If it's 20 degrees I don't add another layer, I just use a warmer first layer, the Expedition Weight. That's it. Keep it basic."

HEAD: "You can't completely cover up your face. As soon as you do it starts to build frost and creates more problems than it's worth. Keeping your face warm is difficult. Sometimes I'll have a scarf I can drop my mouth and chin under, and keep my nose exposed. That's about all you can do. I've made my own nose warmers sometimes, material that just covers the bridge of your nose but doesn't interfere with breathing. That works. Or there's the Alaskan method of keeping your face warm: Put duct tape on your cheeks and nose. That works, too.

"On my head, I like the North Face Windstopper hat. Windstopper Fleece is the best material I've discovered in years. It's a lifesaver. It's fleece but it has a version of Gore-Tex membrane in it that's only windproof, not waterproof. If it were waterproof then it wouldn't breathe and you'd have that moisture buildup inside again."

HANDS: "Windstopper gloves from North Face--they make my training so much more enjoyable. I do long rides in the winter. If I go for a six-or seven-hour ride and my hands are cold, it's a miserable day. I use the gloves for normal cold temps. If it's super cold, I switch to mittens and maybe have a thin liner glove inside of that."

DON'T START GOLD: "Another old piece of advice you hear about dressing for winter is that you should be cold when you head out the door and then you'll warm up and be just right. That's garbage. If you start out cold and have any sort of problem, a fiat or just want to eat, you're freezing in 5 minutes. I dress so I'm toasty warm when starting out, then if I heat up I ventilate. I think you're happier if you slightly overdress than underdress."

VENTILATING: "Take off your shell, or push up your sleeves. That's it. The main thing I do is push up the sleeves and basically turn what I'm wearing into a vest. It's amazing how much heat you can dissipate through your arms."

TO WICK OR INSULATE? "I don't get into all the nomenclature where every layer has a special name. I see people who are paralyzed because they can't find their wicking layer. But any good material is a wicking garment. Even a summer cycling jersey is made to wick. I wear something like that under, and then over it something to insulate. That's all you need to know. When I did Iditabike last year my insulator was the North Face Sentinal jacket, which is made out of Gore Windstopper Fleece."

FOOT ACTION: "When your feet get too cold, stop and walk. Or run. Pushing some blood through your feet like always warms them up. I use that in Alaska. No matter how cold it gets, if you can keep walking or running your feet aren't going to get cold."

Source: Mountain Bike

Find More Like ThisIt's Only Natural

My dear, what you need is "Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation," 234 delightful pages of scientific wisdom dispensed by biologist Olivia Judson in the guise of Tatiana, a sort of Ann Landers in a lab coat. "I've noticed I enjoy sex more if I bite my lovers' heads off first," writes a praying mantis. The good doctor responds: "Some of my best friends are man-eaters," then proceeds to explain why that's not literally true, while assuring the insect that her snacking is as natural an aphrodisiac as candlelight and Barry White tunes.

The "deviant lifestyles" detailed in Dr. Tatiana's fictional column by far eclipse anything we stodgy humans do. There are hermaphroditic sea hares who wonder why everyone else doesn't have orgies all day, an elephant whose nether regions have turned green and a spoon worm who's accidentally inhaled her husband. If your tastes are more ascetic, there's also a talk-show transcript starring a unicellular critter who--horrors!--forgoes sex altogether in favor of cloning. ("My ancestors abolished males," she says, cheered on by rowdy radical feminists in the audience. "They said they were better off without them.") Though the book is chock-full of technical footnotes, Judson says it's aimed at general readers "who are interested in sex," which should make it a quick best seller when it comes out in August. Easy to understand and hard to resist, it's sex education at its prime--accurate, comprehensive and hilarious. Your boyfriend will be thrilled. Just don't get too inspired and bite his head off.

The 9 Habits of Highly Successful Sleepers

If you have trouble falling asleep, or staying asleep, you've got plenty of bleary-eyed company. Here, the best--and most up-to-date--advice on getting a good night's rest.

Marquez isn't alone. More than 60 million Americans--slightly more women than men--struggle with insomnia. Proof of its prevalence lines the shelves of drugstores, where bleary-eyed Americans spend an estimated $325 million each year on potions promising improved sleep. Add to that the $50 million spent annually on melatonin--the latest rage-- and you begin to see the magnitude of the problem. The good news: Scientists are beginning to understand the causes of insomnia and can now offer advice on remedies that really work.

Too Stressed to Sleep
Insomnia doesn't strike the same way each time. There's the fleeting type, which lasts only a few nights, and usually is brought on by stress, travel, a minor illness, or medications containing caffeine or other stimulants (see "Drugs That Disrupt Rest," page 88). Hormonal fluctuations can also cause transient insomnia. (In fact, they may explain why more women experience trouble sleeping.) One study found that premenstrual syndrome (PMS) sufferers spend only 5 percent of their slumber in deep, restorative sleep, as compared to the 15 to 20 percent logged by women without the condition.

Short-term insomnia lasts slightly longer--anywhere from more than a few consecutive nights to three weeks, or as long as the cause persists. It's typically the result of ongoing stress at work or home, pain from an injury, or the hormonal upheavals of menopause or pregnancy. Decreased estrogen levels cause 75 percent of menopausal women to awaken repeatedly with hot flashes and night sweats. Pregnant women are known to be light sleepers because of discomfort and an increased need to urinate during the night.

Transient and short-term insomnia aren't serious, but experts say it's important to nip the problem in the bud, because sleeplessness can be a self-perpetuating condition. It may even lead to chronic insomnia.

More than half of those with ongoing troubles have a physical ailment, such as heartburn; fibromyalgia, a type of chronic pain; sleep apnea, a condition that causes repeated interruptions in breathing during sleep; or periodic muscle contractions that cause the legs to jerk. But pyschological problems like anxiety or depression may also be responsible. For reasons doctors still don't understand, depression seems to make it difficult for people under 40 to fall asleep. In older adults, however, it manifests itself with middle-of-the-night or early-morning awakenings.

When to Get Help
Insomnia that lasts longer than three weeks warrants a visit to your doctor; he or she can help with minor bouts as well. Vet the majority of sufferers never seek attention. The reason is clear Most of us view sleep as expendable--even indulgent. Dark undereye circles are the merit badges of our hard-driving culture. These days, well-rested people are considered lazy and slothful.

But that attitude couldn't be more off-base. "Sleep is believed to be an active state, during which your body takes care of itself in a number of ways," says James Walsh, Ph.D., executive director and senior scientist at Unity Sleep Medicine and Research Center in St. Louis. "It's essential for physical and mental restoration."

Studies show that if you sleep just two hours less than usual on a single night, your judgment can suffer the next day. That's minor if all you're doing is picking out matching socks, but it's critical when you get behind the wheel of a car. Statistics show that drowsy drivers are responsible for as many as 300,000 car accidents per year (at least 10 percent of the total), 10,000 of which are fatal.

Too little sleep for just a few nights can make you cranky, unable to concentrate, and slow to react, and may even make you more susceptible to illness, because your immune system is rejuvenated during sleep. Furthermore, missing out on dream time may leave you less able to cope emotionally with daily problems.

How much sleep do you need? On average, most people require between seven and nine hours. Two people in ten can get by on six hours or less, and one in ten needs nine or more hours. If you doze off during ER, fall asleep within five minutes of hitting the pillow, and feel comatose when your alarm goes off, you're dangerously low on sleep.

Here, the best advice for developing healthy snoozing habits:

1 Adopt sleep-promoting behavior:

Get,up at the same time each morning and go to bed at the same time each night. Sleeping in on Sunday can leave you wide-awake Sunday night--and sluggish Monday morning.

Don't drink coffee or other caffeinated beverages after noon.

Don't smoke; nicotine is a stimulant.

Get regular exercise, which has been shown to cut in half the amount of time it takes insomniacs to fall asleep. Reserve vigorous exercise for the afternoon--between 2:00 P.M. and 5 00 P.M. is best--but not within four hours of bedtime. It's okay to take a leisurely walk after dinner, though

Don't eat a large meal within three hours of bedtime. But don't go to bed hungry, either; it can interfere with sleep. If you want a late-night snack, try some warm milk or a banana. Avoid fatty and spicy foods that can cause gas and indigestion.

Use your bed only for sex and sleep. "If you watch TV, eat, or work in bed, you run the risk of associating it with waking activities instead of sleep," says Paul Fredrickson, M.D., codirector of the Sleep Disorders Center at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL.

If you're tired, take a short nap in the early afternoon, but not after 2:00 P.M. Don't doze any longer than 30 minutes.

If you can't sleep after spending 15 to 20 minutes in bed, or if you wake up in the middle of the night and can't doze off again, consider getting up and going into another room. Do something dull, such as light housework, or read with a dim light. But don't watch television: The bright light has an arousing effect. Go back to bed only when you're sleepy.

2 Set aside "worry time." Dedicate a half hour or so of your evening to think through anything that's making you anxious. On index cards, write down each worry. Then, try to think of solutions. You may not come up with quick answers, but experts say that working on problems while you're awake can prevent them from bugging you while you're trying to sleep.
3 Practice relaxation techniques. Meditation, deep breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation, in which you tense and relax muscle groups, can be beneficial if your insomnia is caused by stress, chronic pain, or PMS. "Any technique that decreases mental and physical arousal helps facilitate sleep," says Dr. Fredrickson.
4 Use OTC medications sparingly. Most drugs touted as sleep aids contain antihistamines, which make you drowsy. "They're okay to use if you've had several bad nights and you're starting to get worried about it," says Walsh. But don't take them the night before an important presentation (or anything else that requires mental sharpness) because they can leave you feeling groggy. And avoid using them for longer than two or three nights in a row because you'll need ever-higher doses to benefit.
5 Skip melatonin. There's no convincing evidence that this popular hormone, which regulates the body's sleep/wake cycles and is sold as a dietary supplement, helps the majority of troubled sleepers. "One study found that melatonin worked for elderly people who no longer secreted much of the hormone, but for those still secreting it, the supplements had no effect," says Walsh. One exception: There is evidence that melatonin may ward off jet lag (see "How to Beat Jet Lag"). Keep in mind, however, that melatonin is not approved by the Food and Drug Administration, so you can't be sure of the quality or potency of the product you're buying.
6 Restrict your sleep. If you have chronic insomnia, try limiting the time you spend in bed to the number of hours you're typically able to sleep. (Note: If that amount is less than five hours, don't do this exercise.) After several nights; you'll be tired and ready to spend more time under the covers. Allow yourself only an extra 15 minutes in bed per night until you're spending at least 90 percent of your time asleep.
7 Take presciption sleeping pills as recommended. "Short-acting" sleeping pills, like Halcion (triazolam), Restoril (temazepam), and Ambien (zolpidem tartrate) are best for people who have trouble falling asleep. They help a sufferer doze off but leave the body quickly, which minimizes morning-after haziness. Long-acting Dalmane (flurazepam) is only for people who have trouble staying asleep--and for those suffering from chronic pain. But because it stays in your body longer, it will make you feel foggy the next day.
No one should take prescription sleeping pills for more than three weeks, because they can exacerbate insomnia, as well as lead to dependence, daytime sleepiness, and coordination problems.

8 Try other prescription medications. Only about half the drugs prescribed as sleep aids are actual sleeping pills. More and more doctors are treating sleep problems with antidepressants, antianxiety medications, and antihistamines, although none of these have been studied as insomnia treatments.

Still, low doses of antidepressants like Prozac (fluoxetine) and Zoloft (sertraline) can be effective. They're especially helpful when the underlying cause of insomnia is depression or anxiety.

9 Consider estrogen replacement therapy. This can help relieve the hot flashes that tend to disrupt sleep during menopause.

How to Beat Jet Lag
Travel can wreak havoc on your sleep--especially when you cross several time zones. But there are ways to ease the transition:

If it's possible to do so, put your body on vacation two to three days before you leave home. Gradually move the times you eat and sleep so they coincide with the time zone of your destination. Do the same thing on your way home.

Drink plenty of nonalcoholic beverages during your flight. A well-hydrated body adjusts to time changes faster.

When you reach your destination, immediately abide by your hosts' clocks. Eat when the locals eat, sleep when they sleep.

Use daylight to help you adjust to the new time zone. If you're traveling east, you'll want to sleep later than the locals. Don't. Force yourself to get up and go outside in the morning light, which will help your body reset its clock to the local time. Likewise, if you're heading west, you'll want to go to bed earlier than your hosts, so exposure to late afternoon light will "remind" your body that it's still daytime.

Take small doses of melatonin, a hormone that regulates the body's sleep/wake cycles. If you're traveling east, take one-half milligram (mg) of melatonin at 3:00 P.M. on the day of departure to trick your brain into thinking dusk is coming earlier. Take another dose at 3:00 P.M. (home time) the next day. If you're going west, take one-half mg melatonin when you wake up on the day of departure to prolong dawn. Then, take three mg at bedtime to stay asleep as long as the locals do.

G.G

Drugs That Disrupt Rest

To find out if medication might be causing your insomnia, check the label for amphetamines and caffeine, and read the package insert to see if it mentions potential sleep disturbances. Some of the most common culprits:

Painkillers

Decongestants

Diuretics

Asthma drugs containing ephedrine, aminophylline, or norepinephrine

Steroids such as cortisone

Prescription and over-the-counter diet pills

High blood-pressure medications called beta blockers.

Sex Advice: parents urged to keep talking

Parents should have continuing discussions with their children about sex, rather than rely on one embarrassing conversation to cover the topic, according to the chairwoman of the Crisis Pregnancy Agency.

Olive Braiden said parents needed to talk in an ongoing way with their children about sex, sexuality and intimacy.

"One talk just won't do it," she said. She was speaking at the introduction of a new DVD, produced by the agency, to help parents talk to their children about sex.

The DVD, You Can Talk To Me, was somewhat ironically titled, said Dr Marie Murray, one of the contributors. Though one might assume it referred to parents telling their children they could talk to them about sex, in fact it could also be taken to refer to teenagers telling their parents they could talk to them, said Dr Murray.

"One of the things that comes through in the DVD is that young people want their parents' input," she said.

Agency director Sharon Foley said the focus in the DVD was on communicating about sex, rather than the biological facts.

The agency yesterday also published the findings of four studies on teenage sexuality.

Teenagers were found to have learned about sex from a variety of sources - television, magazines, the internet, friends and their own experiences, as well as, though less so, from parents.

"The influence of friends emerged as a major factor in the decisions young people make about sex, relationships and contraception," said Ms Foley.

The studies found that boys were expected to display sexual knowledge and experience, and felt they could not ask about issues related to sex for fear of being ridiculed. Boys were also more likely to want sex to happen irrespective of whether there was a relationship of not.

Few girls associated sexual activities with pleasure but wanted to please their partner. For teenage girls the most commonly reported emotions after first sex were fear, disappointment and distress.

The DVD is available free from all public libraries and Citizens Information Centres.

Source: Irish Times

Orgasms Unlimited

Women's bodies are hardwired to have more than one feel-good explosion. Well, hallelujah! Here, we break down how to achieve that ultimate pleasure

"The average woman is built to come again and again," says Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. coauthor of The Multi-Orgasmic Woman. Meaning that once you've mastered that first peak, the climb to the next one is absolutely obtainable. "Women don't require a refractory period like men do, so we're able to stay aroused for longer and orgasm a second and third time with little effort," says Dr. Abrams.

Of course, sometimes just having a single full-body earthquake offers one hundred percent sack-satisfaction, and some of you might feel like calling it a night after your usual one-timer. That's fine. After all, having the option is the key to a smokin' sex life. However, for those times when you can't get enough of the good stuff, simply take these moregasm tips to heart (and to bed), and discover how to double your fun.

MOREGASM TIP 1 Don't Be Single-Minded
The first step in plural peaking: Tune in to the mind-body connection. If you go into a hookup with limited expectations of your orgasm, you'll actually cause your body to limit its pleasure responses. In other words, if you assume you can only come once during intercourse…you will.

The reason why understanding your frame of mind is so important? "After you've gotten there for the first time, rather than switching off mentally and sexually — which is what you do when you assume you've reached the finale — you need to remain expectant and open to further arousal," says Dr. Abrams. "It's all about knowing that your body is fully capable, even built, to experience deeper, longer, and more frequent orgasms."

Once you have the right attitude, the next step is making sure that you have some time on your hands. "One of the biggest misconceptions women have about multiple orgasms is that they happen by chance or that they're some sort of fluke," says Dr. Abrams. "But like anything else, they require a little effort and planning that you don't get from on-the-fly quickies." There's just no point in getting mentally geared up for all that extra action if you're not in the right circumstances to be able to enjoy yourself with your man.

o-o-o-o BRING IT ON!
And finally, make your guy privy to your mattress I mission…kind of. "He won't just get that you're in the mood for something more drawn out," says Dr. Abrams. But rather than putting the heat on him by mentioning the word multiple (can you say "cold sweat"?), deliver your bed buddy a carnal challenge he can get excited about. "Tell him that tonight you want to feel the slow burn. And to get that, you really want to draw out foreplay, and you have a few ideas for the main event too," says Dr. Abrams. This way, you create a situation where he's not only keen to please, but he's eagerly anticipating your direction too.

MOREGASM TIP 2 Step Up the Sexercises
Consider this your ultimate down-there workout motivator: Strong PC (pubococcygeus) muscles have been demonstrated to be a crucial component to having multiples, says Beverly Whipple, PhD, coauthor of The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. (Remember, when they're not making you moan, these Kegel muscles — which surround the vaginal canal — are the ones that enable you to withhold urine.)

O-O-O-O YEAH, I'M FEELIN' IT!
"Since your orgasm is essentially an intense contraction of your PC and pelvic floor muscles, strengthening them increases blood How to the area and enables you to experience a deeper pleasure sensation and a repeated series of pulses," says Laura Berman, PhD, author of The Passion Prescription.

By now, you know the Kegels drill: Flex the muscles until you feel them tighten. Release. Tighten again. But there's a tweak that will get more mileage out of your orgasm, and it only takes a minute. "It's called the Pelvic Connecting Crunch, and it's a more effective sexercise because it uses your transverse abdominals and inner thighs to engage the PC muscles and work it harder," says Herman.

Here's how to do it: Start by lying on your back with knees bent and feet on the floor.

Place something, like a ball, between your inner thighs. Engage your Kegels by concentrating on bringing them in, up, and back. Inhale, and feel the tension extend up your stomach and spine. Lift your head and shoulders slightly off the ground, and hold this position for 10 seconds.

O-O-O-O DON'T STOP NOW!
Once your PCs are in primo shape, you can use them to your advantage during sex. When the time is right, the moment you feel that first contraction of orgasm, "don't let it slip away," says Dr. Abrams. "Keep pumping your muscles in small bursts to draw out the wave and ere-ate momentum for the next series of orgasmic contractions." This way, you use your newfound strength to move beyond the initial climax and into the pleasurable realm beyond.

MOREGASM TIP 3 Max Out Foreplay
Now that you're naked (and in the right mind-set), take the heavy lifting out of your first peak. To do that, point your man south. "For most women, clitoral stimulation from oral sex is the easiest way for them to climax," says Dr. Abrams. "And having your guy help you get there before intercourse means that your body will be geared up to come again and respond to the added vaginal stimulation during sex, rather than still struggling to orgasm for the first time."

And even if you don't come during foreplay, don't fast-track the fun stuff: Your guy pampering you down there still paves the way for multiples. "If you're aroused slowly, then you'll stay aroused for longer, and unlike manual stimulation, his tongue is flexible, soft, and strong — the perfect tool for making that happen," says Dr. Abrams.

Ask him to caress you down there with his tongue for a minute or so before pulling away for a few seconds. Then, have him dive right back in. "Oral teasing techniques prime the body to expect that after each peak of sensation, another one is coming," says Dr. Abrams. "And it remembers that lesson when yon orgasm — after one, it'll stay in that prepped state for more stimulation, putting yon on the track to come again,"

MOREGASM TIP 4 Take a Mini Time-Out
Once you come for the first time, you're probably in the habit of pulling away from him because you're so sensitive to his touch. And rightly so: "After an orgasm, a lot of" nerve pathways have been stimulated, and there's been a tremendous surge in blood flow," says Whipple. "So it's completely natural for some women to want to take a break from stimulation in those moments immediately following."

But here's the difference between a sack session that finishes here with a happy ending and one that continues on to multiple peaks: II you fall into a stupefied pleasure coma, you're done. If you resume touching an area that is not hypersensitive, you bring it on.

To do it, "give the vaginal area a break for a minute, and have your partner suck your fingers, kiss you, or caress your breasts," says Dr. Abrams. "The stroking in other regions will keep your nerves and sensual energy on high alert while your nether regions cool off just enough to take his caresses all over again."

O-O-O-O MY GOD!
Remember, you don't want to entirely put the kibosh on intimate contact. Otherwise, you'll have to work that much harder to get to a heightened state of arousal. So keep up the caressing until you feel that hypersensitivity draining away and the heat returning to your moan zone.

MOREGASM TIP 5 Hit the Hottest Spot
Another common denominator that multiorgasmic women share: They know to bridge the gap from single to multiple by stimulating the G-spot, that sponge-like moan zone behind the pubic bone. Here's why: "While that area is highly responsive to touch, it's also strong and resilient enough to stand up to a lot of stimulation," says Dr. Abrams.

O-O-O-O DOUBLE MY PLEASURE!
As we said earlier, a good trick is to come initially from clitoral stroking. But then, once that area becomes supersensitive, move on to stimulate your G-spot to unleash the next orgasmic wave. Now that you're there, the best positions to milk (his feel-good sensation are reverse cowgirl and doggiestyle, which are good bets because they tend to stroke that area naturally.

To sweeten the pot, make sure you treat these positions as full-contact sports. That means having him fondle your breasts or trail his nails down your back as you ride him silly and creating constant contact by rubbing your clitoris against his body in a rocking motion in addition to thrusting.

You get the picture.

As for why this pleasure combo works like a charm, according to Dr. Abrams, the more areas you engage while stimulating the G-spot, the better. "One study found that women are more likely to have additional orgasms if they are stimulating several body parts at the same time," she says. "Your body never quite knows exactly what to expect next and is more likely to respond." Over and over again.

If you fall into a bliss coma after one, you're done. But resume touch in a new area and you'll bring it on.

Multiorgasmic women know that the G-spot is the key to bridging the gap from one climax to many.

THE TWO TYPES OF MULTIPLES
With the right combo of moves, it's possible to trigger one of these babies.

SEQUENTIAL MULTIPLES
A series of roller coaster-like waves that are 2 to 10 minutes apart

SERIAL MULTIPLES
Rapid-fire shots of pleasure with only a few seconds of interruption

YOUR BIG O PRIMER
This back-to-basics guide will refresh you on hitting the high note next time you're nude.

CLEAR YOUR MIND
Push out unwanted thoughts by focusing on something sexy, like how hot your guy looks in the shower, or conjuring up an image that excites you during masturbation.

GO SOL-O
Masturbation is perhaps the most crucial step to peaking with a guy. It allows you to feel out your climax triggers and then show them to your man.

LET HIM AT YOU
Don't be self-conscious about receiving pleasure and, more important, telling him you're not ready to move on if he tries to accelerate too soon.

USE YOUR PC MUSCLES
When you're close to orgasm, tighten and relax your Kegels. This alone can sometimes trigger a real orgasm.

STAY IN THE MOMENT
If you get caught up in "Argh, I'm not going to come" thinking, tune back into the physical by touching yourself.

KEEP YOUR POSITION
The key to climaxing is steady stimulation, so when you're almost there, hold off on the erotic acrobatics. Instead, stick with a position that's hitting your hot spots and stay there until you come.

Source: Irish Times

Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advices

Do you get more letters from males or females?

Quite often males have the worse deal. Sexual cannibalism is an obvious example, particularly where the female eats the male before he's actually had a chance to mate.

If monogamy is so rare, how do black vultures manage it?

There are certainly opportunities for a bit of hanky-panky at a carcass. But black vultures don't like sex in public, and if a young and inexperienced vulture solicits sex there, he or she will be attacked by every other bird.

I've heard that females evolved to be prudish.

Total nonsense. In the last 10 years the data have started to become very, very clear: It's not just that females are promiscuous; it's that in many species they benefit from it.

How about males--is it always best for them to sow their wild oats?

Absolutely not. Often it's better to hang around and keep other males away. Or you start playing all sorts of tricks so the female uses your sperm and not someone else's: a secretion that seals off rival sperm, devices to scour the female's reproductive tract. Some are really quite monstrous.

So who's winning the war between the sexes?

Both sides are running in place as fast as possible, and nobody's actually getting anywhere.

I'm looking for a guy with brains and brawn.

A good old male elephant can probably get you both.

Do you have any advice for humans?

Have fun!

Let's Talk About Sex

Because the Web can provide instant, private access to searchable information, it should be an ideal resource for possible answers to a range of delicate questions (e.g., Why isn't my spouse more interested in sex? What's the best type of contraceptive for me? Is my fantasy normal? What should I tell my children about sex?).

Finding the answers can be difficult, however. Although some parents give their child a book when be/she is ready to learn about the facts of life, no parents would send their child unaccompanied to the Web to find the same information.

Of course, that's because the Web is not considered the best resource for legitimate sexual information; it is considered by many to be the World Wide Warehouse of pornography. TIME magazine caused controversy in 1995 with the publication of an article called "On a Screen Near You: Cyberporn." Citing the study on which the article was based. Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, who wanted federal restrictions on Internet content, announced on the Senate floor that 83.5 percent of 900,000 images studied on the Internet were pornographic. Many people vehemently denounced the statistic and the research methodology behind it.

The vehemence of the attacks is understandable. The Internet then was still a nascent mass medium, and users were quite rightly asserting its legitimacy. Misinformation about the Internet can lead to dangerous consequences when it's used to formulate federal policy. But the article and the controversy now seem like almost quaint episodes in the history of online information. Were people aghast at the idea of 900,000 pornographic Internet images? The Web now probably contains more than 9 million.

I don't want angry letters denouncing my methodology, so I freely admit my number is a fanciful guess. I have not done exhaustive research, but even if you aren't looking for the door to the warehouse, you can stumble into it. The warehouse is vast, and it contains not only hardcore sex, but also every fetish and perversion imaginable-and many that probably never even occurred to you.

And it's not just images. The warehouse also contains vast amounts of pornographic stories, messages, letters, and blog writings. Because there is so much of that type of content, many people worry it will be a tough task-difficult or harrowing-to find legitimate sex information without stumbling through the warehouse door. Fortunately, some sites can help.

We seem to be a little more comfortable with frank sex talk in our mass media if the person doing the talking reminds us of someone's grandmother. First, there was Dr. Ruth Westheimer, who promoted what she called "sexual literacy" on radio and television. You can find her sex advice on iVillage, "the Internet for women". That site offers Dr. Ruth's answers to questions on birth control, sexual health, dysfunction, and other topics.

The answers are part of a larger iVillage sex section, which includes information from other experts, message boards, quizzes, links to information on other sites, and such articles as "Three ways to unleash your inner hottie," "How can I get more foreplay from my husband?" and "Should I share sex fantasies with my spouse?"

Much information is available in categories including sex drive, technique, women's bodies, men's bodies, circumstance, complaints, and taboos. The site even offers workshops, which are "step-by-step lessons from experts." Workshop themes include "30 days of great sex," "Be incredible in bed: Four basic moves every woman should know," "Become a love goddess in 30 days," and "How to retrain your lover (and why you should)."

Another grandmother/sexpert is Sue Johanson, a Canadian nurse who dispenses wisdom to Americans on Talk Sex with Sue Johanson, a live phone-in program on Oxygen TV.

Her Web site offers an A-to-V (Anatomy-to-Viagra) list of information as well as sexuality news, a bulletin board, a bookshop, and reviews of sex toys.

According to an online note, Sue and the site's editors believe "all human beings have a right to honest answers about their reproductive systems, the same way that they have access to information about respiratory systems or any anatomical function. As far as we're concerned, the more information that one has, the better one is equipped to protect oneself from physical and emotional harm."

Johanson's focus on "anatomical function" might explain why its list of relevant online resources mostly contains links to sexual health sites. A more extensive list is available from the Kinsey Institute. Kinsey's links are divided into such categories as aging and midlife, sexual orientation, sex education, sex therapy, contraception and reproduction, sexuality and disabilities, and youth and parent resources.

As you might expect, the list is heavy on academic resources. If you don't find what you're looking for, try a search engine. I assumed that searching for the word "sex" or even a more specific phrase like "sexual health" would pull up mostly porn, but, by and large. Google returned links to legitimate sex information--at least on the first few pages.

You also might want to try Yahoo!'s list of sex sites. According to Yahoo!, one of the most popular places for online advice is Go Ask Alice, a Q&A service offering information on drugs, fitness, emotional health, general health, sexual health, sexuality, and relationships.

"Alice" is actually a team of Columbia University educators, healthcare professionals, and researchers from health-related organizations worldwide. The sexuality section of the site includes information on categories ranging from kissing to fetishes.

If you have a question you aren't able to answer through the site or other online resources, you can send it to Alice via e-mail. According to an online note, "All questions to Go Ask Alice are read, and a limited number are answered for future posting."

Of course, if you knew where to look, you could get sex information long before Kinsey or the Web were conceived. After all, the Kama Sutra was written in the fourth century. It probably won't make any conservative groups happy, but if you know how to search Google, you can find that on the Web too.

Ten-to-One…

Ten Travel Essentials

Friends; the ones that you trust, the ones that will never leave you or any of the crew behind — no matter what.
Knowledge of the place you're traveling so you can get the most out of your adventure.
Proper gear for the adventure (bike, dive gear, hiking/camping gear, snow gear, etc.).
Extra shoes, trunks, and a good jacket.
Video/photo camera with a filmer.
Computer with plenty of DVDs.
iPod, headphones.
Handheld GPS.
A good knife.
A plan "B", 'cause plan "A" will probably fail.

Nine Non-Riding Activities To Do On Trips

Whitewater rafting/ kayaking.
Hiking and exploring caves, waterfalls, and hot springs.
Spear fishing, free-diving, or deep-sea fishing.
Rent mopeds and shred the town.
Rent snowmobiles and shred the terrain.
Cliff jumping, snowboarding, glacier climbing.
Sightseeing local historic attractions.
Any cool activities native to the land.
Hunting; animals, fish, people — whatever your fancy.

Eight Best Countries/ States

New Zealand.
Alaska.
Fiji.
Australia.
Japan.
Vancouver, Canada.
Spain.
California; it's got every kind of adventure.

Seven Best People To Travel With

Dave Osato.
Heath Pinter.
Brian Kachinsky.
Glenn PP Milligan.
Colin Winkelmann.
Brandon Lillard.
The OG crew: Paul Luna, Jermey and Jonas Wray, Josh Kolbeck.

Six Best Trips Ever

New Zealand Samurai Tour 2004.
Alaska Samurai Tour 2004.
OG Crew Summer Southwest Tour 1995.
Jones Soda Huffman/ Birdhouse Tour 1999.
All the wHawk tours 2000, 2003.
Etnies tour 2002 with [Jason] Enns, PP [Milligan], Edwin [DeLaRosa], [Joey] Cobbs, and [Jeff] Z.

Five Problems To Always Prepare For

Running out of money.
Plan "A" going to hell.
Rain.
Oncoming traffic.
If you're in France, the French…just kidding.

Four Foreign Foods To Try

Kebabs in New Zealand.
Crepes from France.
Black pudding in England.
You should try at least one new food wherever you go.

Three Best Foreign Contests

New Zealand's X-Air.
England's Backyard Jam.
Vancouver's Metro Jam.

Two Types Of Souvenirs To Bring Home

Pictures.
A good cowboy hat.

One Place You'll Never Go To Again

Some places in Texas, Sometimes you just realize there's nothing to offer there, so there's no reason to go back.


By: Mike, Ride BMX

Advice to Children With Sleep Apnea

Wear That Night-Time Breathing Device! New Ways to Improve Adherence, Tolerance Needed

Wearing a special mask to bed helps children with sleep apnea breathe and sleep better, but a small, six-month study at Johns Hopkins Children's Center and two other pediatric hospitals suggests children aren't always using them consistently enough to reap the maximum benefits.

The breathing masks, which deliver a gentle, steady flow of air called positive airway pressure (PAP) therapy, significantly improved breathing and oxygen levels when worn regularly, researchers report in the March issue of Pediatrics. Parents also reported that their children had improved daytime alertness at school. Sleep apnea is marked by loud snoring and disturbed sleep caused by interrupted breathing patterns.

Despite improvements with even irregular use of the device, parents often say children are using PAP when the study shows they are not, says investigator Ann Halbower, M.D., pediatric pulmonologist at the Johns Hopkins Children's Center. Obstructive sleep apnea can cause learning, memory and IQ problems. Additionally, it affects breathing and oxygen levels, and while PAP therapy helps the apnea, the maximum benefits come only over time and with consistent use.

For the study, researchers enrolled 29 children between 2 and 16 years of age and instructed them to use the PAP masks at home every night. The 29 children underwent a baseline sleep study at enrollment, and 20 of them returned for a follow-up sleep study after six months. In addition, investigators surveyed the parents of the 20 children who completed the study to get their account of usage, and also tallied recorded usage data built into the PAP devices.

Comparing baseline and follow-up measures, researchers found a nine-fold average decrease in children's apnea hypopnea index (AHI), which represents the number of interruptions in breathing per hour. Oxygen saturation improved by an average 12 percent.

What this means is that with treatment, sleep apnea basically went from severe to mild or better, Halbower says.

It remains unclear how PAP therapy affects neurocognitive performance, even though parents reported improved alertness and dramatic reduction in the percentage of children who fell asleep during school at least once a week. Halbower cautions that these outcomes are based on subjective reports, and further studies are needed to document objectively the device's effect on neurocognitive function. There was no difference in reported academic performance, irritability or hyperactivity.

Comparing parents' reports and data obtained from the device's computerized meter, researchers found that parents tended to overestimate usage by approximately two hours. Even those who used the equipment every night only did so for an average of five hours a night, which is insufficient, given children's long sleep hours, Halbower says. In addition, 78 percent of parents told researchers that their children did not use the equipment every night.

The study did not address reasons for non-adherence to PAP therapy. Halbower says further studies are needed to examine reasons for non-adherence and to develop treatments for those children who cannot tolerate PAP.

Obstructive sleep apnea syndrome affects 2 percent of children in the United States. It occurs because of partial or complete obstruction of the airways during sleep due to anatomic and/or neuromotor factors. In children, the leading cause of sleep apnea is enlarged tonsils and adenoids, and the first line of treatment is surgical removal. If untreated, sleep apnea may lead to serious problems in later life, including hypertension, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and increased mortality.

The study's principal investigator is Carole Marcus, M.D., Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

Co-investigators included Laura Sterni, M.D., assistant professor of pediatric pulmonology, and Janita Lutz, both of Johns Hopkins Children's Center; Gerald Rosen, M.D., and Pamela Stading, M.D., University of Minnesota School of Medicine; Sally Davidson Ward, M.D., and Daisy Bolduc, M.D., University of Southern California School of Medicine; and Nancy Gordon, of Gordon & Associates, consultant to ResMed Corp, a manufacturer of respiratory medical devices.

The study was partially funded by ResMed Corp, the maker of the device used in the trial.

CONTACT: Katerina Pesheva, Johns Hopkins Medicine Media Relations, 410-516-4996, epeshev1@jhmi.edu

ABOUT: Founded in 1912 as the children's hospital of the Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions, the Johns Hopkins Children's Center offers one of the most comprehensive pediatric medical programs in the country, from performing emergency trauma surgery, to finding causes and treatments for childhood cancers, to delivering a child's good bill of health. The Johns Hopkins Children Center's Pediatric Trauma Service is Maryland's only state-designated trauma center for children. With recognized Centers of Excellence in 20 pediatric subspecialties including cardiology, transplant, psychiatric illnesses and genetic disorders, Children's Center physicians, nurses and staff provide compassionate care to more than 90,000 children each year. For more information, please visit: www.hopkinschildrens.org

Source: Ascribe Newswire: Health, 3/13/2006

The Green Thumb

Q. I know you say to leave a bare tree trunk alone, not to put any dressing on it. Years ago, lightning struck a maple tree and my father treated the split trunk with mud made from garden loam and water. He plastered the mud all over the wood and the tree healed over fast. He also put mud on a bee sting and the pain went away fast. If it works on bee stings, why won't it work on tree trunks whose bark has been gashed? Sometimes old-fashioned ideas and remedies work out for the best.

A. One thing we try to do is keep up to date on the latest developments. Painting tree wounds is a bad thing, plus a waste of time. Dr. Alex Shigo is a world authority on tree wounds and maintains dressing is not beneficial.

Q. My garden this summer was the worst ever. Do you think I should have the soil analyzed to see if something is missing?

A. It's a myth to think that something missing in the soil is the cause for poor growth. There are dozens of reasons why plants do poorly.

A plant will not suddenly wilt and die due to malnutrition. And it would be very rare to find a garden soil so low in nutrients that it could not support plant life. The truth is, more plants are killed from over-fertilization than from not enough.

Many factors can cause plant failure which are not revealed by soil testing. Note: A simple pH (acidity or alkalinity) test is very useful for the home gardener because it indicates if lime is needed. Here are some factors that cause plant failure which are not revealed by a soil test:

Poor drainage, especially in wet weather. Wet soils contain no oxygen, which is needed in greater amounts than other elements. "Wet feet" kill the root system.

Droughts. Plants are nearly 98% water and need lots of it for survival.

Insects and diseases are not detected in soil tests. Underground pests such as symphyllids can eat the feeder roots, causing the plant to dwarf and turn yellow. Sucking-type pests can distort foliage and spread viruses.

Indiscriminate use of weedkillers can affect plant growth, and soil testing does not reveal this information either.

The next time you have a house-plant problem, knock the soil ball out and examine the roots, and if you have a garden problem consider such things as water, drainage, insects, disease, light, temperature, and other cultural factors. If none of these reveal anything, then you might consider having your soil tested. It would be great if we had a single test that would tell you what's wrong with your plants, but we don't.

Q. We are a retired couple trying to make additional money raising strawberries. This year the fruit set was real nice, but they got knotty with a bunch of hard seeds at the end of the berry. We want to know what can be done to prevent this again.

A. First, the problem is no doubt due to an insect, the tarnished plant bug. The condition is also known as "catfacing," with fruit producing "nubbins" or hard seedy ends. We used to think this was due to spring frosts injuring the blossoms, but that's unlikely.

Q. I have a house fern with red berries on it and it's about 12 years old. Can I plant the berries? Also, how do I plant an elephant ear bulb? It came with no directions. Will it grow outdoors and survive winters?

A. You have an asparagus fern, not a true fern. Plant seeds in a pot or grow them outdoors. It's almost the same as the asparagus you grow as a vegetable, and is hardy outdoors. Red berries are on asparagus ferns. Ferns don't have seeds or berries, but asparagus fern is not a true fern. Start new plants by sowing seed in a pot of loose soil, equal parts of sand, garden loam, and peatmoss.

For the bulbs, we recommend the fancy leaved caladium. Plant bulb right side up, just the tip showing, using a soil mix of equal parts sand, peat, and loam. Grow in semi-shade.

Q. Years ago everyone had an "air fern" in the home. Where can we buy one today?

A. The plant you mention, "air fern," was not a fern, but a structure produced under water by an animal of the genus Bubala. Today, not many people grow them for their plume-like structure, which is normally green. They are harvested from the sea and dyed a deep green. They are not alive, thus require no water or any special care. Some variety stores still handle them, although they'll never be as popular as they once were.

Q. We have some earwigs and they get into rose buds. Is there any way we can get rid of them? Also, I heard they get into people's ears. Is that true?

A. Earwigs are a pest. They burrow into rose buds, making it difficult to reach them. Place a few-inch thickness of wet newspapers around the bushes. They hide in them. At the end of day or early in the morning, soak the papers in a bucket of water. It drowns them.

Some people do believe earwigs go into the human ear canal. A nurse once told us about the time she removed one from inside a man's ear. Perhaps the Forficula auricularia (latin for "ear forceps" or "ear pinchers") holds some truth after all. Don't worry about it if you sleep with ear plugs.

Q. Sometime ago, you mentioned in CR tricks for making a wisteria bloom. At that time I didn't need the information. Now I do. Please tell me how to make this stubborn vine flower. I heard baking powder around the base helps. True?

A. Save your baking powder for cooking purposes. Under normal conditions, all wisterias should bloom. Some varieties take their time and bloom later in life, others bloom earlier. (See our August 1998 CR column.) Sometimes flower buds are killed by the cold. Always use a grafted plant, since chances are better that they will flower better than seedlings.

If your wisteria is eight years old and does not bloom, try this: Dig a ditch around the vine, 11/2 feet deep, several feet from its base. Mix superphosphate with soil and return the earth (use five lbs. for each inch in diameter). This combined root pruning and superphosphate treatment helps both wisterias and the grafted base of any wisteria, since best varieties are grafted and suckers might take over. Wisterias need a rather poor soil, not the best. So, you might want to mix in a few coal or wood ashes. If your wisteria (also spelled wistaria) is young, don't be in a hurry, because this plant is stubborn and will bloom when it gets in the mood.

Having trouble with another ornamental, such as Hydrangea? Send CR a self-addressed, stamped envelope for our free bulletin "How To Grow All Kinds of Hydrangeas."

Q. Next year if you want a real good annual, try growing Godetia (Go-dee-sha). It's beautiful and lasts all summer long. You start it from seeds. Why don't people grow it?

A. Godetia (satin flower) grows 24" tall, flowers 3" to 5" across. Excellent for arrangements. Seed available separate or in mixed packages. Grow it next year, and you'll love it!

Q. We have a lot of slow-moving moths in our kitchen. These seem to come out of the cupboards. What are they?

A. These are Indian Meal Moths, about 1/2" long, creamy gray in color and not fast-moving. You can slap them in midair; that's how sluggish they are. They live in cereal boxes, flour, hot pepper jars, and just about anything else. The moth lays eggs which hatch into worms about 1/2" long. You'll see cobwebs where they hatch. They'll eat holes in paper, cardboard, and other things.

Where do they come from? If you're a bird lover, blame it on bird seed. They multiply astronomically in a bag of seed. They also come in on dry dog and cat food. They do not come from plants nor do they feed on plants. Control: Keep pet foods and human foods covered. Use a vacuum sweeper or fly swatter on them. Spraying is useless if you don't cut off the food supply.

Q. We don't have a garden but buy tomatoes from the supermarket all winter long. Should these be refrigerated or not?

A. Refrigerate store-bo